thurs-date - 2010-12-03
kickin the cold - 2010-12-01
back from break - 2010-11-21
i'm 30? - 2010-07-18
internet woes - 2010-04-29

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- J-Ku Pornolized


5:32 p.m.

it was a wednesday

[stupid shoppers]

I feel so bad, I told this girl in the library earlier today that we didn't have yesterday's lecture tapes yet (but we really did) because I was looking at thursday's date thinking it was today. No huge deal, but still, I feel guilty.

So I bought a bed yesterday. I was right when I reported last week that I would because I'm such a compulsive spender. Its justified though, because after I move out of Berrytree, I wouldn't have a mattress, and my step-brother Sean now has 3 kids and there was talk of giving him the bunk beds. I don't think my dad ever counted on using the bunk beds for so long when he bought them back in ~1986. But after laying on tons of beds in 3 different stores all over town (I felt like such a whore), I finally bought one. And from Art Van, amazingly they had the cheapest price for a mattress we liked. It gets delivered next Tuesday. Its kind of funny that by the time I'll be ready to move into my new apt, all of my stuff will already be there.

I have recieved word from Allison in China that they are stuck in a hotel for shelter from an approaching typhoon. What an experience.

I had another couple go through my line buying only condoms last night. "Have a good night" indeed. And they looked familiar. I don't know if I have seen them outside of Target or just because they are always going through my line, and that is all that they ever buy. At least I didn't have the couple one of the other cashier's had. They bought condoms and lube.

And people can be so rude when checking out. This stupid woman practically handed me every item of her full shopping cart one at a time because she had to check the scanner for each item. And you better believe that everything scanned accordingly. Don't these people know that it is better for them just to have it ring up wrong, take it to the sevice desk, and get their free $5 due to the Michigan scan law? Whatev, I'd rather have them save that nickel than get $5. And you just know that the people who bicker over that nickel difference are the same people that would pass up a quarter on the ground. My favorite are the people who get rainchecks for items that are hardly on sale. Like we had a stereo or tent or something that was $30 or $40 regularly and on sale it was $0.99 cheaper. They were taking them like they were free or something. Shoppers can be so stupid. And since we are in the snobbish suburbs, we get the people who are used to the service at department stores. Okay, to these people I need to clarify something. There is a difference between "department store" and "discount store". Target, although still pricey, is classified as "discount store".

We do not have free gift boxes or giftwrapping. You can buy those yourself from the stationary department.

We do not have layaway. Apply for a credit card and pay it off over time.

We do not ship. There are Targets all over America, if you are moving somewhere else or wanting it for a gift for someone out of area, go and pick it up at the store near your destination. And if you do want to take home a piece of furniture or whole patio set, please arrive at the store with a truck that can fit your items. You wouldn't believe how many times people pull up to a curb lined with their recently purchased furniture with a two-door compact.

We need your actual credit card to use your credit line. I know this may be hard to understand, but not everybody is honest and we do not want to be held liable for somebody else memorizing your credit card numbers. We do not accept you using other people's credit cards. How do I know that your "husband's card" isn't in fact your recently divorced "ex-husband's card" and you just want to screw him by running up a bill? And if I do ask you for your ID, don't make a fuss out of it. Just accept the 5 second delay and realize that it is a safety check and for your own protection. Also, I have no idea why your card was rejected. You'll have to call the company when you get home. Just accept it and pay a different way.

If you swear that my store carried some object that I know we never ever carried, stop arguing with me and either accept my word, or seek it out on your own since you think you know the store better than somebody who spends more time there than in his own apartment.

Understand that you are not the only shopper in the store, you may have to wait for somebody in front of you at the checklanes or service desk. Also realize that there are hundreds of people in and out of the store daily. We can not always make sure that every item is in its exact spot. So if a $139.99 piece of luggage was placed on a shelf above a tag that said $19.99, take my word about the price.

Do not tell me your life story in relation to an item you are buying or returning. I don't need to hear it, and I'm only tuning you out.

If you are buying something from a registry, please hand us the registry when we're done scanning but BEFORE you pay. And just trust me that it will be taken off the list. There is no need to be paranoid. Its not like the recievers aren't going to get things they will bring back to exchange anyway.

Do not spend 10 minutes writing a check for one item totalling $2.49.

Do not get in line if you are not ready to checkout. I don't want to stand around staring at you while we wait for your brat to finish up getting the one thing you forgot, even if "he'll be right back", because he won't be. Our lanes record how fast we check people out, and I don't want to get fired because I had to wait for your 8 year old boy to run back and get you the right kind of tampons you forgot.

When you give money to your cashier, hand it to them. Its a huge fucking pain to pick up every single coin from the counter. You don't have such a hard time accepting change from our hands, why can't we recieve money from you the same way. But in practicing this, please don't make the mistake of thrusting your payment in our faces before we have even rung anything up. We can't see anything else, and its a little too personal to have your credit card inches from our noses like that.

Learn how a gift receipt works, and just take it with you even if you aren't giving an item as a gift. I don't want the thing any more than you do.

Overcome any fears you may have of the counter while checking out. There is no need to put your three items as far back as possible, just put them right by the scanner. But don't over-compensate by putting them directly on the scanner, I'll just push it back. And if I'm trying to uncover a large item, please don't keep placing things on top of it. Have some common sense and courtesy. The clothing items you want are not going to be ruined by temporarily setting them on the counter. Yes it may be a little bit dirty, but if only you knew what those clothes went through before you picked them up. The counter is the least of your worries.

If it is obvious that I am running out of space while bagging, stop staring at me and start loading up your cart. And don't just wait for the end when I'm waiting for a payment to start that, because you are only delaying us both.

Don't look at me like I'm robbing you at gunpoint when I tell you your total. This stuff ain't fee, so don't be so suprised when I expect some money after bagging all your shit. Its like people forget that part of the shopping experience completely until I have to remind them. Its the worst with people who write checks, because they could have had everything written out before hand. I don't know, am I so mesmorizing that you can't help but watch me work while I'm scanning your items?

Hang up your fucking cell phone while checking out. Its true that I don't want to actually talk with you, but I would like a reply to "hello", "you're total", and "have a good day." I just want to yell at these people. I am a human being, acknowledge me.

If there is an instant coupon on your box of whatever, take it off before I scan the item. Just assume that I don't like you so I won't be looking out for your best interest by noticing those things. Its a pain in the ass when you realize it at the last minute and make me search through all your bags so that you can save $0.30 when you buy 8 bags of cookies. If you're buying that much in the first place, an extra $0.30 isn't going to do you much good.

I guess that's all for now, I'm a little tired from all this ranting.


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