2009-12-05

12:43 p.m.

it was a saturday

[gossip keeps me happy]

Wednesday Mike and I hosted movie night. Its apparently been a semi-weekly event with his sister Abbey and his sister's boyfriend Andre. Then Mike and his girlfriend Amy were included. And now me. So this week we had it at our apartment and chose to watch Heathers. Mike and I both love the movie and it was a good excuse to finally make our draino drink since I finally found a blue liqueur back in june. So sticking with the theme I picked up some spreadable cheeses (in place of pate) and corn nuts. Oh, and we just happened to have some red licorice around as well. It was a fun night but the draino drink was way too strong. Fucks you up almost as much as real draino would. Everyone got super trashed. Abbey and Andre ended up falling asleep so we only made it halfway through the movie. I enjoy movie night and its probably good for me to be social but i just feel like such a fifth wheel at times. Especially when there are 2 couples cuddling, in my room, and I'm solo. Such is my life.

Anyway, forced positive attitude! I guess I didn't mention it before but I've lost weight over the past month. My little personal issue over the past month has led to a decreased appetite so I wasn't over-eating like usual, just the proper amount. I also started to eat better. I wasn't really eating too poorly before but i've been super good lately. Lots of vegetables and less fatty food. In addition to that I have been working out more regularly. Was doing it maybe twice a week with an occasional week off. Now I'm working out almost daily. If not a full workout than at least an exercise or two. Well apparently the results are noticeable to people other than just myself. I got my hair cut on thursday and my hair lady commented on it without me even bringing it up. Then last night I went over to Cindy's before meeting up Blaze and his crew for his birthday at a bar. She couldn't get over how good I looked, although I was kind of cheating with an outfit that flattered me from head to toe. She kept saying my arms were huge till I rolled up the tight sleeves that make them pop and just showed them on their own. So i'm enjoying my little transformation and I hope to keep it up. We all know how fickle I can be at times. Next month I may discover a love of melted cheese over bacon and gain 30lbs.

If I don't have anyone to love right now I might as well improve the feelings I have towards myself right? Trying to learn that lesson over the past few weeks and not get depressed on being single. Keep repeating my mantra of "single, celibate, and happy" although its all too often followed by "and not bitter at all" dripping in sarcasm. Its hard to keep such a positive outlook, even when consciously forcing yourself not to stray into negativity. I think it will be alot easier once the holidays are over. As someone wise once said, "if you can't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love anyone else?"

I'll share something that has really helped keep me in a good mood though. I came across some music videos for the group Gossip on youtube the other month and then again more recently. I guess they kept popping up cause they were similar to other groups I was searching for. So I downloaded their latest album monday night. I can't get enough of them! I would best describe it as disco rock, I love it. I'm hoping they do a US tour soon.

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